Simple Gluten Free Sourdough Loaf

When I first went Gluten-Free, all I wanted was bread. A lot of my friends were making wonderful full gluten sourdough loaves of bread, and I wanted to try my hand, at Gluten Free Sourdough.

I went on the search for the perfect recipe, I started my starter with some Organic Brown Rice flour from Amazon (I’ll link it below). And some Cultures for health. (How I started my starter and maintain it will be a whole post in its own)

As I was searching through recipes, so many of them had about 5 different flours, and 5-10 added ingredients to get the “perfect” loaf, and even then the reviews were hit and miss. I finally found a recipe, but as I would make it, there were pieces I needed to tweak, and finding the right flour that would allow for a soft not dense inside, but also that beautiful golden crispy outside.

So here is my recipe and all the things you will need:

– A dutch oven, I have a 6qt ceramic coated dutch oven and it works amazing

– Parchment paper

-a GF sourdough stater, approximately 2 weeks old or more.

– Gluten free all purpose flour. ( I use Cup4Cup from Amazon. I have tried so many different flours, and the starch level to alternative grain flours makes for a soft, and less dense loaf)

– salt

– filtered/distilled water (the chlorine could be harmful to your wild yeast)

– a food scale in grams.

Optional: a stand mixer

Now you have your ingredients, Let’s get baking!

I generally begin fairly early in the morning or late at night, depending on when I want my bread to be done and cooled.

To Start grab your stand mixer, or a fork, and mix these ingredients together- I usually do this order, but I suppose you could do whatever order makes your heart happy.

300g filtered water

12g salt

200g GF sourdough starter

420g GF All Purpose flour (Cup4Cup works best honestly, I have tried Bobs red mill, and King Arthur, and so far nothing has worked better than Cup4Cup)

AND then mix!

Unlike “regular” bread this dough will sill be sticky, and not Knead-able.

Next lightly grease and flour a glass bowl with room for your loaf to rise, I usually use a 4-6qt bowl

Loosely cover with a beeswax wrap, or plastic cling wrap and a towel, then leave this in a warm place (about 70- 73 degrees) ** I usually put the bowl on top of my microwave**

let it set and rise for about 6-10 hours, my house tends to be on the colder side so 8-10 hours works well for me.

After your rise time is up put it in your fridge for 12 hours.

** This is why I think about when I want bread to be done**

After all of your hurry up and wait time, take your dough out of the fridge, and dump it on to a piece of parchment paper while you pre-heat your Dutch oven.

Place Dutch oven into your oven at 500 degrees for approximately 30 minutes.

While things are preheating remember the dough you just dumped, lightly shape it into the shape you want, and slash the top about 1inch deep in whatever design makes your heart happy.

After 30 minutes, take Dutch oven out of the oven and drop the oven temperature to 450 degrees, remove the lid and gently place your parchment paper with your loaf into the Dutch oven, and place 2-3 ICE CUBES between the paper and the Dutch oven and QUICKLY cover ( you want the steam)

Place dutch oven into the oven, and bake for 40 minutes. After 40 minutes uncover and bake an additional 10 minutes until the top is golden brown and the inside temperature is around 200 degrees.

Now the hardest part of all. Take your loaf out of the oven, and place it on a wire cooling wrack (Or a tea towel) and let it sit until completely cool! (This takes about 2-3 hours)

After its cool enjoy!

I have found that this loaf is a great crisping bread, for toast, and warm sandwiches. When I have used the Cup4Cup flour it has been a loaf I can eat as sandwich bread, without having to warm it up significantly too.

** You may have to adjust baking times for your altitude, and oven. I live in the Midwest, and have a conventional electric oven.

Amazon Links: (these are NOT affiliate links, and I am presently in no way associated with Amazon)

Cup4Cup Multipurpose Flour, 3 Pounds, Certified Gluten Free, 1:1 All Purpose Flour Substitution, Non-GMO, Kosher, Made in the USA https://a.co/d/34M0U1c

Cultures for Health Gluten Free Sourdough Starter | Heirloom Dehydrated Culture for Baking Gluten Free Bread | Non-GMO Prebiotic Sourdough Bread https://a.co/d/iI2wF9P

Anthony’s Brown Rice Flour, 5 lb, Batch Tested and Verified Gluten Free, Product of USA https://a.co/d/edbIuc5

Mom Hacks for going to the gym

I took a break from the gym for a while, while I healed injuries from overtraining. I also found myself in a season of life where my job hours were long, and by going to the gym, I would be losing time with my small human. So I chose time with my small human and rested.

Along the time I was falling out of the habit of going to the gym, I started a new relationship with my long time love. And then had another tiny human. So began my journey back to the gym.

I don’t know about you, but I feel better when I work out and move my body. It increases my productivity. Especially as a stay at home mom, its easier to just chase the small ones around, and take naps.

So going back to the gym, aka my happy place, I had work to do. My kids are amazingly attached to me, (I am their comfort item.. no blanket, pacifier, or stuffed animal… me) so when it comes to going to the gym and leaving them in the daycare for an hour is hard. And almost as hard for me as it is for them.

Here are my tips and tricks that have worked!

1. Figure out their schedule.. If they’re tired/hungry its not going to go well.

2. Find a class or buddy that you can go to/with that falls farther away from nap/food times.

3. Hand them over to the daycare friends, and leave. There is no need to draw out the process. The longer you stay and try to comfort the worse it will be. if they have a favorite toy, now is time to pull it out. Distraction is key!

4. Enjoy your workout. Even if its 20 minutes, that’s still a good workout!

5. Give yourself grace. Consistency comes. But sometimes kids get sick, teething happens, life happens. The gym will still be there, just keep striving to go back time and time again, over time your kiddo will become more accustomed to going, they will get better if they’re sick, and you can go back!

It’s a journey. Not a sprint. It takes time and determination to create a new routine.

You got this momma!

The Marathon That Didn’t Happen…

Last year I struggled to find my next race, goal, something that could keep my fitness goals moving in a forward direction.

Last year I also injured my foot in my first half marathon of the year. It’s not something I love to talk about and honestly for nearly a year I tried my hardest to ignore it. I raced again two weeks later, and then took the summer off running to attempt to heal. I however at that time did not seek professional medical advice. I just knew I hurt and my ability to run was hindered. I had 3 more 10K’s and 2 Half marathons left in the year and I really wanted to finish them, even if that was walking. So that’s what I did. I heavily researched how to tape up my foot, taped it up, and “raced”.

My foot was the tip of the iceberg with medical issues I faced last year, which lead me to struggle to work out. STRUGGLE. I love fitness. Fitness brought so much joy and adventure to my life. I believe I was my healthiest, physically and mentally when I was consistently hitting the gym, and mindful of what I was eating.

When something gets in the way of other things that we love, its hard, it brings dissonance to so many other areas of life. In my case I found that friendships suffered, workouts suffered, my mental health suffered, my nutrition tanked, and the identity I had found in the gym suffered most. I’ve said this before, and I’m going to say it again: my first year in the fitness world, I allowed fitness to become who I was rather than something I do, and love. My next year I allowed it to destroy me, and this coming year I will rebuild, I love fitness, but I have to be holistically healthy for me, that means I work out 4 days not 6, and I don’t obsess about it (definitely not shrugging it off but not letting it destroy me if i miss something).

Anyway, the foot, and the marathon. In the fall of last year I thought I wanted to keep running and a marathon would be my next step. I had become complacent with the mind game of the half, and knew I could finish [I’m not one to chase a finish time, but conquering the obstacle over time is more important]. After the Rock N’ Roll Las Vegas Half Marathon (Which I super recommend!) I took a break from running again, to see if I could rest my foot enough to begin training in January for the Chicago Marathon. I had signed up, received a guaranteed entry, and was so excited to begin the marathon adventure. End of January I started training, and I got a few good runs in here and there with minimal pain, but nothing was ever fantastic. The Lincoln National Guard Half Marathon quickly approaching, I was running out of time to get my running base re-established. In February my pain spiked again, the more I trained the more I hurt.  I got custom orthotics to see if supporting my high arches was the problem, even though my pain had always been in my forefoot.

I completed my 6th Half,  and decided to take 3 weeks of low impact. Which I had not done since, a year before. No running, jumping, kickboxing, nothing that would put me in a place where my foot would hit the ground harder than it would walking around. I went to go start running, to begin my 20 week training plan, and proceeded to ice my foot for 2 days. I tried to continue my training plan and the pain continued. I got x-rays which showed no obvious fracture, but due to the pain level immobilizing was the best course of treatment.  So into a boot I went. For 4 weeks. I was out of the boot 3 days before I went back in for 6 more weeks. Finally got out of the boot in August, when my pain level in the boot and in a stable tennis shoe matched. The pain never fully went away.

More recently we explored a cortisone shot, and therapeutic ultrasound. I’m hopeful that they will both help over time. As for the marathon, in June/July it became clear that I would not be able to properly train, so I pulled my name out of the race, and worked to face the emotions.

Even now I want to run, I want to kickbox, I even want to be able to bike, I want to be able to lunge, and it super sucks know I can’t. BUT. I CAN lift weights, I CAN squat, I CAN weight train, I CAN modify most boot camps. I AM Healing.

I carry a lot of feels about where I am in my journey, many of which are working towards re-framing. It’s an adventure, and a healing one.

cheers,

ebs

Day 1… 151 days to go…

Last Sunday I ran/walked what was one of my WORST half marathons… it was by far my slowest, which in a lot of ways makes sense {that’s a post for another time}..

So after a Half I generally always take the next day off training of any kind, just to let my body recover. So Tuesday being two days post Half Marathon it was time to start training for the next thing….. Chicago.

Talking with friends Tuesday night the one word of advice they had for myself and my poor friend I am dragging along with me was… TRAIN…. your other workouts are bonus, now is the time to focus in on running.. nothing else matters (obviously cross-training is super important to reduce risk of injury).. but…

Nothing else is going to prepare you better for running 26.2 miles than running.

This is something I have heard over and over.. something I know it true, but it’s daunting. My friend and I looked at each other, and later encouraged the other that we are not going to die, because this race has become priority #1 in training, we discussed “Runger” {you know.. that feeling of ravenous hunger from all the miles you are running….. but trying desperately to stay on your meal plan…..} and how to stay accountable.. which I really kinda suck at. Anyone else clam up and want to hide when trying to be held accountable?  {I see you, lets figure this out together}

Presently I have 22 weeks to The Chicago Marathon.. Two weeks low impact {which by the way is SUPER hard for me to do, but I need to.. I have to allow time for my foot to heal… also a story for another time} then a 20 week pyramid essentially of training which after 6 weeks I will join a marathon training class at my local Fleet Feet Sports store… {sometimes I need someone else to tell me how to run}

So here are my workouts this week:

Sunday: 13.1

Monday: Rest

Tuesday: 3.10 on the Elliptical

Wednesday: 45 minutes of Boot camp

Thursday: Power Yoga

Friday: 55 minute bootcamp + 20min Elliptical

Saturday: Rest

Anyone else get overwhelmed when looking for a training plan!? because I do, everytime!

So for now I’m taking my training one day at a time.

-ebs

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Year two.

Year one was incredible.

Year two was not.

Year three will be INCREDIBLE (again).

This year as I reached my Gym-iversary, I reminded myself how far I’ve come. This is my nod to my successes, failures, struggles, and accomplishments. Here I will leave my lessons, and hopes for the future.

In year one, I was challenged and naive, I was so excited about the fitness world. Everything was so new, and I jumped in head over heals, and it was magical. That year there was a lot of magic. I lost a lot of weight, learned to eat well, and smashed some real cool goals like running my first half-marathon.

Year two, I fell. hard.

I let so much of what I told myself wouldn’t, happen. I got amazingly overwhelmed by the social pressure, and found myself relying on socialization to make it to the gym, until injury struck, and I found myself in a place where I HAD to do this solo, and remember why I’m doing this. I ended up having 3 total injuries in 2017, and not all were workout related. I found that my body was partly failing me, and had I not been eating well (ish at the time) and exercising I would have been in a lot more trouble than I was in. I had to have a couple really hard deep soul searching moments to remember my “why”, to remember what got me started in the first place.  A lot of days I still have to remind myself about it, in some real ways.

(A lot happened in year two, that I’m nodding to, and walking away from, in attempt to better myself)

Year three. The year of the Marathon.

Back to Basics. To remember who we want to be we have to remember who we were, and not let it over take us. The fitness cycle is not all weight-loss, and race PR’s, it has some really low moments, moments where you question everything, and moments you push through and keep going.

-ebs

 

 

When did this happen?

When did I become a runner? How did this happen? At what point was my sister not the only runner in the family?? Next year I have 3 half-marathons planned (still looking to find 1 more). I have 3 10Ks (6.2miles) I am planning on, the first one being beginning of March. I plan to run a weekly 5k. and do actual 5k races. I want to run most daily.  It calms me. Like any good workout I dislike it pretty greatly while I’m doing it, but afterwards I feel invigorated.

Working out has become a habit. something I do because I want to, but because I feel better afterwards.

November sucked for me. I feel like I alluded to that in my last post. It truly did. I hit a pretty bad funk. My nutrition was not great, I struggled to eat, let alone gain enough calories. I dropped my calorie intake by about 3-500 on any given day. I struggled to make it to the gym and go “balls to the wall”. My Trainer and I had many “real talks” where she told me to cut it out, and to get serious again.  Finally at the end of the month I came clean about my struggles with my fitfam, and accountability group. From there I was able to make a plan.

Since making a plan I feel so much better, I am back on track, and happier. I still have really emotional days. Where I sit in the gym locker room pretty much up until the class it about to start, or where I walk into a class, wish the music was louder, and punch the crap out of a bag, where I bring my own intensity rather than relying on the instructor. Some days it’s Therapy. And yet other days it’s a social hour where we work our butts off and feel great after.

I chose not to measure in December, which is something I generally look forward to. I chose to get refocused and ready to conquer new challenges, to continue to work out, and be absolutely obsessed with fitness, because I love it, and it makes me a better person, rather than because I have this race, goal, or whatever. I am in love with fitness. I love everything about it, in such a holistic way.

I didn’t hit a plateau physically, but I did hit one mentally. I tried to prepare for it, and didn’t. I struggled through it, and chose to change things up. I pushed through where I wanted to quit. I kept going, and checked in where I wanted to cry, and stay home. For that I am Stronger Everyday!

My next Big “race”/Adventure is: a RUCK Tough Race! I am doing one with My Trainer. and absolutely Terrified!  Here is a Link to give you a sneek peak. I’m still not sure I am strong enough. But I am doing this! and I will finish it successfully.

 

 

Also guys, Balance is hard.

– ebs

Post 13.1

I’ve been dreading this post, not because I didn’t want to write about The Halfsy, but because I don’t want it to be over. So here I am ripping a bandaid. 

The day before the race I went to pick up my packet, my best friend and I walked into the expo and I was so overwhelmed with what to do, who should I talk to, what’s going on. As I made my way to pick up my packet I just took a couple deep breaths and then I had my race packet in hand. After having them (I picked up my sisters and her boyfriend’s as well) I looked around trying to determine what to do next. I spotted a few of my running friends and began to get excited. These are the people who ignited my love of races, these are the people who help me sort out running injuries, coach me, run with me, cheer me on, push me harder, and who I enjoy spending time with. They are my running family, although I still may not always enjoy running,  they have taught me to “Run Happy” and ” Relentlessly move forward”. After I ran into them I wandered the expo and went home and took a nap. (Being in crowds drains me). After that I went and had dinner with an old friend, and worked through “two” servings of  carbs, and after a lovely visit again went home. I had every intention of just going to bed, but once I got home, I felt like I needed to make sure everything was ready, together, and laid out. I also decided that my room needed rearranging.. finally I got to bed, and nerves set in a little. I was going to run the longest distance yet, but I have trained for this for months. I was not going to be fast, but I was going to finish. Race day here I come. 

Then came Morning.. funny how that happens! I woke up at 6 had the breakfast my trainer and I planned, and finished gathering myself.  I put my hair up, and hairsprayed my hair well so that I wouldn’t have a flyway Halo the whole race. (And needless to say it worked!!) I drove to pick up my sister, and her boyfriend and headed to the race. It was a brisk morning, and I was awake and silent. We showed up and stood around, I found friends and my running buddy, but was still “uncharacteristicly” quiet. Quiet is how I process, quiet is when I am most nervous, calm is when I am internally panicking.  We took pictures, and laughed, and eventually my running buddy and I walked towards the line up. We talked about yoga, and how I could finish stretching out my hips.  Eventually we started moving, and I got more nervous the closer we got to the gate. The gate came and went and we were off. 

We started out ahead of the 2:30 pacer, and stayed ahead for a while. I consecutively ran the first mile and half, which surprised me, but I felt good. I got a side stitch, and had to walk it off, Miles 2-4 I barely remember other than the first water station, and the pacer passing us at mile 3. We weaved through the running crowd trying to get back into a groove, but I couldn’t seem to completely find it again. We got to Holmes lake, and another water station, my running buddy and I ended up listening to the same song coincidentally which was great, and we realized just how great of a running song “Panda” is.  Leaving Holmes lake we saw other good life instructors some of which I stopped and hugged. Just after mile 5 my music headphones died. And I definitely did not want to stop to troubleshoot. At this point I was so thankful to be running next to someone the whole race rather than solo. We started playing mind games around mile 6, pushing and relentlessly moving forward.  Once you get half way the rest is in your mind. I saw coworkers along the course, and was so happy to see familiar faces! I at mile 9 I picked up one of my training buddies. Her and I run together weekly, constantly push each other harder in classes and are probably the funnest troublemakers my trainer has in her group fitness classes! So I was happy to see her, she is running a mile a day the whole month of November, and that’s pretty cool. Anyway, we kept going and working through the “I just want to walk” that was going through my head. I saw my best friend and one of my childhood friends which was definitely encouraging. And mile 10 never seemed to come. I finally stopped for a minute to stretch my hips out, and got back to running. Mile 11 we slowed a bit and took lots of pictures, sending them to my trainer who had been sending me encouragement along the way. We saw more of my running family, which made my heart so happy. Mile 12 came and I was tired, I didn’t want to move anymore, my running buddy kept asking me what I needed, and the only thing I needed was to keep moving no matter how fast or slow and cross that finish line. My training buddy made sure everyone along the way knew it was my birthday, and was just the “woo” I needed. Mile 13 was kinda crumby, but towards the end was more running friends who hugged me, and kept me going. We got to the bridge and worked through it. Running the last .1 into the Haymarket is a blur. I heard my accountability buddy cheer my name, and just stayed focused on keeping moving to cross. We crossed the finish line, and I just kept moving.. much slower. I told myself before the race I would need active recovery and I think I subconsciously knew I needed to prepare myself for it. We made it to the Recovery zone, and I got my medal. I had two amazing people beside me, and was so thankful for both of them.

 I began looking for One of my best friends, someone who texted me through every long run telling me I can do this. We hugged, and then began making our way to the rest of the running crew. I was so happy it was over, and yet I was so excited to figure out what to do better in the next race. Now I know what to expect, I know the mental hurdles, I know the struggles, now, how to overcome and push harder. 

The rest of the day I celebrated my birthday with the people I care about, snuggled my kiddo, and ate pizza. I shared my journey with friends, and began replying to the 50 texts and heck of a lot more Facebook comments. 

I did it! I ran 13.1!!! 2:42! It wasn’t my sub 2:30 goal but I Finished!   

Since the race training has been hard. After a week of lightly training prerace and a week of pretty much recovery, and lightly moving, I found myself in a fantastic funk. I didn’t want to write about the race because that means it ended. My goal is complete. And I wasn’t sure how to get my mind back to working hard, no matter how much I prepped for it. I walked into my personal training session last week and got “real talk” which anytime she and I have real talk it sinks hard. I take it to heart and try to figure out what I need to do next. So I did. I am now back to my regular training schedule, running and all, but my long runs look more like 4 miles right now not 6-10. I’m finding my fitness groove without having a date in which I have a goal. I still have fantastic fitness  goals, and I have more half marathons planned.. 

The funk is hard to kick, but I have a great  tribe, that checks in with me, pushes me, and is amazingly encouraging! I’m so thankful for my fitfam. They’re exactly what and more importantly who I need in my life. Each of them helping me in ways they can’t even know. 

So there you have it. I ran miles. I joined an elite group of athletes who are distance runners. I lift, and dream. I run, and do intense cardio. Fitness makes me happy. 
-ebs

Preparing for my first 13.1

8 months of anticipation leading up to the events of Sunday. When I first began working towards this idea of a Half Marathon it was daunting. truthfully even hundreds of hours of training and miles later it still feels daunting. It felt so unattainable, which is definitely not the case anymore. This half marathon does not feel unattainable, finishing it is within my grasp, I’m almost there!

They say Races, especially distance races are all in the mind. I would agree and add that the training for them is as well. I have spent countless miles running, walking, jogging, trying to keep a steady pace. I am still fairly sure I can not run a consecutive mile. With that said, I can however walk for 20 feet and start running again. Since my longest run I have been struggling with my IT band, I have to ice after just about every physical anything and do a heck of a lot of yoga and stretching to make sure I don’t injure myself. I think I would also add that the week leading up to the race is a mind game. This week I  finished my Taper. Last Night I finished my last big workout, and tonight I will run 2 miles with my race buddy, and that’s it. I still feel a lot of emotions, and this week my nutrition has been wonky, but I am still doing things. Still relentlessly moving forward.

All in all, I am looking forward to Sunday, I am going to complete my first half marathon, I am running with with Friends, people who have seen me persist through this journey, and reach for the next big thing. I have Friends and Family cheering me on, on the sidelines as well as running with me. I have trained for this. My goal is sub 2:30, and if I’m a few minutes over so be it, I still ran a half marathon. I’m excited because this race is on my Birthday, and afterwards I get to celebrate with a lot of the people I love. I am allowing myself to eat whatever food after the race my stomach thinks it can handle and hoping that food is Pizza. I am looking forward to saying “I am a Half Marathoner” and training for another race.

Little secret, I don’t enjoy running all that much, and am excited to take a couple weeks off before I do a 5k on Thanksgiving with my Fit Fam. However. I do enjoy my runner friends, I enjoy the Runners High, that feeling of  momentary invincibility because I just ran X amount of miles, and yes my body aches, but I feel great! I enjoy being able to just think while running, and finding ways to keep myself going. Running helps me find my internal motivation, without a trainer telling me to keep going. Running is more so me vs. me.

I am thankful for my running friends, and my running community. I’m thankful for people who text me telling me to keep moving my feet when I am running my long runs. I am thankful for the training, time, and energy my trainer has put into me to help me get ready for this race.  And I am ridiculously thankful for everyone who has been cheering me on along the way, who has challenged me to lift heavier, be stronger, go harder, run faster, run. I don’t HAVE to run on Sunday. I GET to run on Sunday, and for that I am richly blessed!

So if you’re new to my journey, thank you. If you have been with me since I started, and long before I decided to even write about it, Thank you.

 

Cheers to 13.1, Ready or Not Here I come!!

 

-ebs

 

I know I said that “Preparing for the Plateau ” would be my next topic. However, It is Race week for me!

Ramblings and insights in the last month.

So its been a month since I posted last, and since then I have been trying to make time to blog and then somehow procrastinating. wowzah.

In the last four weeks I have:

-Ran my longest distance prior to Race day. 10.2 miles.

-Increased my Medium weight

-Set my next big goal… (stay-tuned after the Halfsy is over I will disclose it.. )

– taken risks

-made a point to be positive

-helped over 430 homeless individuals get connected to much needed services.

–  Oh! and I did a Spin class!

Risk is never something that is easy for me. I don’t enjoy leaving my comfort zone, and believe it or not speaking my mind is crazy hard for me. However all the magic happens outside of your comfort zone.. My trainer likes to integrate new things into my workouts/meal plan,  what ever we happen to be working on at the moment. More often than not I will have some weird look on my face, and dissecting the movement, processing the how, and then preparing myself for when she says I have to do it. Change and risk can be hard, but why not become it rather than be mowed over by it. I have learned that new is not bad, but that I need to be ready for it, get ahead of it if possible.

For the past two years I have had the amazing opportunity to help with Project Homeless Connect. Project Homeless Connect is an amazing even at which homeless, or low income individuals are able to get access to much needed services,  whether that is medical care, or employment opportunities. It is the highlight of my working year, and so amazing! It reminds me why I work in behavioral health, and why I want to help people.

All in all I want to help people. My Trainer started a “fit-fam” group on Facebook, and as it has developed so organically, I have been able to be encouraged by these gals, but also encourage them. These ladies are a great source of laughs, and accountability! This group came along just when I needed it, and I am so grateful for each one of them, and where they are in their journey! A few of us have decided to do a 5k on thanksgiving, which is going to be a blast. none of us are going for time, we are just going to do it, and do it together. One of the gals was saying she wanted a medal, even if it was made of paper. Within the next 20 minutes we had found amazing medals that we as a group were ready to order, that are special to us as a TEAM! I am so Blessed to have these gals on my Team, and to be apart of theirs!

The Day I decided to do my longest Run, I also made the genius decision to take my first Spin class! Which by the way was amazing.. I think this was probably a poor choice, but I did my long run, and crushed it. By mile 4 I texted my good friend, asking if It would be okay if I only did 9 miles. she told me no, I had another mile in me, and to keep moving my feet. By mile 6.5 I texted my trainer and another good friend asking them to remind me why I wanted to run this race. The response was amazingly encouraging, It can be summed up with I am running this race because in the past I couldn’t. I want to have the persistence and determination to complete such a feat. I can and I will. When it comes to my fitness life, that is my new mantra. I can and I will. This will probably continue to be my mantra through the next year as I take on some big goals, and learn to lift more, build more strength, and grow as a person. 

Two weeks from today I will have already completed my First Half Marathon. I will have ran half my age in miles. And I will have celebrated the turning of another year so hard. I am determined that 26  will be the fittest I will have ever been, and the best year yet!

 

Thanks for reading my ramblings, maybe if I wrote more often it wouldn’t feel like I’m rambling. 🙂

-ebs

Up next: Preparing for the Plateau.

 

Motivation vs. Habit

The past couple weeks I have been on the struggle bus, my life has felt like a roller coaster. I have struggled with days I couldn’t exercise. The dread of running, and training for a half, and overall been pretty unmotivated to do things.

Since mid-august I have been trying to regain balance, I began my graduate classes, gained a new boss at work, and had to go on a few trips. I have wrestled with “not bad, just different” and the feeling of wonder as to why my training doesn’t feel as hard as it used to, it doesn’t feel as time consuming as it used to, and overall just feels different. I have wrestled with body image (which is a fairly new struggle for me, and not one that often is an issue for me), I have struggled with anxiety and wondering if i should change my routines up.

Last week was definitely not one of my better weeks. My nutrition over the past two weeks has creepingly gotten worse, and last week was a complete fail it felt like. This week I am working to recover, I packed my lunch and have a goal of only taking home empty containers. I need to commit to my nutrition, and remember how much better I feel over all when I am on track. Time to get back at it, and take care of me.

Last week my clothes for my first half marathon came in. Which should have made me super excited about this race, but instead it left me in a state of panic. Wondering why I am doing this race, wondering if I even can, and just overall self doubt. It sucked. I never want to feel that way again. at the end of the day I put on my running shoes and went for a run with my running group and friends. The habit of going to the gym or to my Wednesday night running group far outweighs the lack of motivation I feel.

Right now I am not very motivated. I don’t always feel like doing the things I love, and trust me I am so head over heals in love with fitness, and working out, you couldn’t pay me to not go to the gym. However my lack of motivation, does not keep me from enjoying working out, my gym is my happy place. When I’m frustrated, I workout. Happy, I workout. I workout for me. I workout because without it my day does not feel complete.

Today I saw this great quote it said ” Motivation is Crap. It comes and goes. Be driven. When you’re driven, you don’t give a damn” – David Goggins  This super resonated with me. In my search for balance in my training, nutrition, in my life as mom, employee, and overall person, I don’t want to be motivated. I want to be Driven.

I read once that “Motivation is what gets you started but habit is what keeps you going”. I fully wholeheartedly believe this.

Now with all that said, I still have goals and accountability in place to keep me moving forward, I want to be Driven, and I am a creature of habit so now that I am set in my routines it has been hard to break them, but the drive to be better, and keep going is strong, so it definitely reinforces my habits.

Here are my successes the past couple weeks:

• I went on a little weekend trip with some girlfriends of mine, and ran/walked 6 miles before most of them got up! WIN!
• I did 4 band assisted Pull-ups in boot-camp!! (I am so proud of this!!!!!!!)
• I ran/walked 8 miles this last weekend! Total win! Even thought I did it, I am still working to wrap my head around it. I have 10 to run this weekend…
• My pants are loose.. again, so that’s cool..
• I have an amazing fit support system, who are always pushing me to do better and be better!
• I am inspiring the people around me, whether I realize it or not.
• I am learning to be gentle with me. My life is a process and not an overnight thing, Its okay for me to push myself, but I don’t have to beat myself up when I am struggling to meet a goal. It’s okay to be gentle with me. 🙂

 

Have a great week!

-ebs