Motivation vs. Habit

The past couple weeks I have been on the struggle bus, my life has felt like a roller coaster. I have struggled with days I couldn’t exercise. The dread of running, and training for a half, and overall been pretty unmotivated to do things.

Since mid-august I have been trying to regain balance, I began my graduate classes, gained a new boss at work, and had to go on a few trips. I have wrestled with “not bad, just different” and the feeling of wonder as to why my training doesn’t feel as hard as it used to, it doesn’t feel as time consuming as it used to, and overall just feels different. I have wrestled with body image (which is a fairly new struggle for me, and not one that often is an issue for me), I have struggled with anxiety and wondering if i should change my routines up.

Last week was definitely not one of my better weeks. My nutrition over the past two weeks has creepingly gotten worse, and last week was a complete fail it felt like. This week I am working to recover, I packed my lunch and have a goal of only taking home empty containers. I need to commit to my nutrition, and remember how much better I feel over all when I am on track. Time to get back at it, and take care of me.

Last week my clothes for my first half marathon came in. Which should have made me super excited about this race, but instead it left me in a state of panic. Wondering why I am doing this race, wondering if I even can, and just overall self doubt. It sucked. I never want to feel that way again. at the end of the day I put on my running shoes and went for a run with my running group and friends. The habit of going to the gym or to my Wednesday night running group far outweighs the lack of motivation I feel.

Right now I am not very motivated. I don’t always feel like doing the things I love, and trust me I am so head over heals in love with fitness, and working out, you couldn’t pay me to not go to the gym. However my lack of motivation, does not keep me from enjoying working out, my gym is my happy place. When I’m frustrated, I workout. Happy, I workout. I workout for me. I workout because without it my day does not feel complete.

Today I saw this great quote it said ” Motivation is Crap. It comes and goes. Be driven. When you’re driven, you don’t give a damn” – David Goggins  This super resonated with me. In my search for balance in my training, nutrition, in my life as mom, employee, and overall person, I don’t want to be motivated. I want to be Driven.

I read once that “Motivation is what gets you started but habit is what keeps you going”. I fully wholeheartedly believe this.

Now with all that said, I still have goals and accountability in place to keep me moving forward, I want to be Driven, and I am a creature of habit so now that I am set in my routines it has been hard to break them, but the drive to be better, and keep going is strong, so it definitely reinforces my habits.

Here are my successes the past couple weeks:

• I went on a little weekend trip with some girlfriends of mine, and ran/walked 6 miles before most of them got up! WIN!
• I did 4 band assisted Pull-ups in boot-camp!! (I am so proud of this!!!!!!!)
• I ran/walked 8 miles this last weekend! Total win! Even thought I did it, I am still working to wrap my head around it. I have 10 to run this weekend…
• My pants are loose.. again, so that’s cool..
• I have an amazing fit support system, who are always pushing me to do better and be better!
• I am inspiring the people around me, whether I realize it or not.
• I am learning to be gentle with me. My life is a process and not an overnight thing, Its okay for me to push myself, but I don’t have to beat myself up when I am struggling to meet a goal. It’s okay to be gentle with me. 🙂

 

Have a great week!

-ebs