Little known fact about me: I LOVE Pizza… Who am I kidding? Everyone knows I love Pizza. A friend even got me Pizza earrings, which I promptly wore to my personal training appointment with a trainer who shares my love and struggle with pizza. Needless to say I’m not sure she took me super serious that day, but the same day I moved to what I like to call the “big kid” weights, aka weights and racks not just machines.
In all seriousness, this post is my most transparent struggle with food.
I grew up in a big family, we didn’t always have a lot of money so foods like spaghetti, and vegetable soup, rice and beans of every variation came in large supply. Even now as an adult I’m not a huge fan of a lot of foods I had to many of as a child.
Looking back I think food became a problem for me in high school. And I’m still not sure how. I wasn’t super concerned about my body, looking thin, or being strong, I think and still think “counting calories” is silly. My family has always had a strong push towards “healthy eating”. My dad as a chiropractor teaches holistic medicine, and does a lot of nutritional counselling. So even as I got to be an adult I thought “oh, I know how to be healthy and eat right”.
When i started college I gained a lot of weight, way more than the “freshman 15” and I ate or didn’t eat whatever I wanted. I found myself too busy to eat, or more often forgetting to eat. When I did eat, I would eat a lot kinda, and not think anything of it. At one point I dropped out of college and moved home. While living at home, I was not the one meal prepping, and again living in a big family portions were pretty much predetermined. There was no moments of over eating, but I was definitely under eating, but never on purpose. My family was/is Vegan so meals were so different than what I was used to having. When I moved out, and had to prep meals I remained vegan, and continued to lose weight, I didn’t exercise a lot, but I was walking a bit. Eventually I came back to eating dairy, and over time back to my old eating habit, in turn gaining pretty much all my weight back.
This last year when I decided to “get healthy” I decided that I needed to eat better, telling myself and being told by friends that “You can’t out train a bad diet” I started buying healthier foods, but then once again found myself not eating enough, or being too busy to eat. I would prep meals and eat part of them, but never get to the rest. I had increased my activity, but had not changed my fuel or increased my fuel.
After about a month of training with my trainer she began asking about my nutrition, wondering how I felt I was doing, and expressed concern from conversations we had. We began working on a meal plan, and creating goals and a plan for a balanced nutrition plan, and had me begin logging my food choices.
It sucked.
I struggled to make my meals, log my meals, and not just go get quick food. Over time tracking my meals had its good days and bad days, I had days I ate like crud, and I felt it. after a good month and a bit of struggle, and tracking meal prepping clicked better, and my body stopped craving most of the junk I had been eating. (I still want junk sometimes. but when I give in I pay the consequences). I began talking with friends about how to make sure I was eating enough, and staying on track on days where routine was not there. I began setting silent alarms on my fitness tracker to keep myself accountable. (this helps sometimes). I have had to change my mindset about food, and be self aware when I start slipping. My Trainer and a lot of my fit-fam are amazing and generally call me out on nonsense before it becomes something to worry about. At times their analytical views of life hold me accountable, because I know they care and want to make sure that I am properly fueling my body.
Food is Fuel.
I still very much struggle some days eating well, cutting bad habits like late night snacking, giving in to peer pressure and eating out for lunch with coworkers, eating the lunch and snacks I pack every morning. but at the end of the day when I don’t eat well I feel it. I know in how well I do in group fitness classes, on runs, and how I go about my day whether or not I ate, or ate well.
Yesterday I had Papa Johns pizza. just a slice. and for about the next 4 hours I felt bogged down and my stomach was not thrilled with me. My body is no longer used to eating pizza, and the fast foods I was feeding it, and for that I am beyond thankful.
I didn’t go on a diet, I changed my diet. 🙂
I’ve changed the way I view food, and although I will always struggle, I am thankful that I have friends that hold me accountable, and encourage me to continue to eat well, and live well.
-ebs
#StrongerEveryday 